Rediscovered A Year Later

A year ago when I have typed out my last input in this blog, I did not realise:

-that it would be the last of the year
-that soon I will leave my home for more than a year
-I will also leave everything that I have ever lived with
-I will start a new life

And all of that came true, after my last input. I am now hundreds if not thousands of miles away from home in Russia. I have been here for more than 10 months now, and it has been the longest period of time I have been away from my family, my home.

Everything here seems so foreign. The inability to walk outside without having the thought of insecurity is tiring and exhausting all of us. We cannot do the things we do back at home like riding a bike, take a drive to the beach, or even just stroll in the park. Here in the icy tundra where Vodka meets Sputnik, nothing seems to be fun or colourful at least. Everything is grey reminding us of how sad this country has become after the War.

But it is not their happiness that we need, it is our happiness that they have ripped. How can all of us survive these melancholy? I'd say, simply the thought of home. The thought of going home, seeing the faces of our parents makes us etch a smile on our tired faces, waiting to go home.

Studying in this over-chilled land, forgotten by time, is like fighting a war. Each day, we were waken from a beautiful dream or a wicked nightmare, realising we are still here, still in this battle. And we set out, with a glint in the eye and a tigthened fist, knowing more than anyone else, it is just another day, in another place.

So why am I back blogging? Simply because I have changed, like the seasons of time. Back at home, there is eternal summer which will stall time. It is good because it makes you feel secure, that the sun will always be there for you, that home will always be what you wished and hoped for. It can also be bad because we will never see the other part of the world, and we take for granted that the sun will be up in the morning and set in the evening, never thinking about when the sun will stop shining. In this land however, I have seen the losing of the sun and the gaining, within a huge range of possiblities.

Life is not always what we hope for, but we can work for it. That is my philosophy of life. But it has been too long, a tad too long living in 'exile'. Unfortunately, I did not see all these one year ago, sitting in front of my PC in my room. Now in my other room, in another time another place, I have learned to see where I will be at next year, the same place where I am now.